''Retreat Hell'' (02.10.2012)

Ohhhh Noooooooooo.
Quick. Everybody panic immediately.

That's right; keep faking your seizures,
go ahead and hold your thermometer up to a lightbulb so mom lets you stay home from school (it worked in ET), scream and throw a hissy fit, or a tantrum if you prefer... And then maybe smile.
Because its Go*D&@$! chaos Friday. Which is just another way of saying L-shaped ambush Friday. None can deny the overwhelming awesomeness of freak ambushes.

Insert generic rhetorical Samy question? (What?)

Nope, you get no sneak preview for what today brings, it will be quite the crucible.

Calm down Dan, everyone makes it through the one at Parris Island. Especially after they discover MRE's contain candy. Nasty recruits. Too far? Good.

So you want to know what each athlete should expect today?

Spoiler Alert: Absolute blast of a TEAM WOD (2 Parts).

Get some, freaks.

The CrossFit Games are almost here.
(Bert, stop wasting cami face paint.)

We've got around 20 of our crew already signed up for the games and on our CFNH Team... Hint, Samy may have been going nuts on his credit card using peoples emails and birthdays to register them as a surprise. Well, 'Surprise', now you're coming with us into the fray.

''Retreat Hell! We just got here.''

Who said it?


Anonymous said...

Capt. Williams.

SRD said...

I guess we just abbreviate rank in the Marine Corps now?

New game for the posting section (forgive me I have to update the last goddamn 50 or so with posts so Bert continues to fear epic defeat in our yearlong challenge... Sonic Boom what?)

The new game is this: I will relay words about my day. Simple words. Those playing the game may call True tale of Samy's everyday experiences, true but an anomaly for the lil guy to encounter, or deception tactic. Naturally the deception tactic days will have some sort of booby trap consequence that I will not reveal until it's too late. Yah. And no, I don't mind playing this game by myself. It's great practice for me to get back into regular composition for the blog on what will hopefully be some informative and massively sarcastic articles for our crew to read during any morning rituals...

Today: Wake at 325ish, only half sleeping anyway... I like the quiet in the AM.
Immediately roll from sleep position (supine) to prone and begin the sloppiest excuse for Burpees ever witnessed (lucky for me no one did). By this time who the hell knows what the daily total is, I'm just beyond 47 now. Boooo Joel you abandoning motherfucker. Soul mates my ass.

After burpees I'm not cold anymore. Time for fish oil, myoplex (sml), and half a very brown, previously green apple. Yes, seeds too. And stem. I also creep up on my fish oil lately, while most fish aren't krypt-walked to their doom I find it adds to the hunter gatherer ambiance. And there's absolutely no light at that time either so I don't even truly know what I'm doing.
Quick Run, Quicker contrast shower (minus the contrast part). Type sarcasm for website, send mint WOD with special notes for his administering pleasure. Take out trash, no lights still in hallways, fall down stairs carrying wood filing cabinet. Shatter cabinet, shatter several lightbulbs and other glassware that was in the bag... with my face. Yes, with my face. No cuts. Logbook note: early on cold days my skin morphs into impenetrable defense shield from laceration wounds upon subconcious command... will begin training with lit cigarette burns next week. (No, Bert.)

Come back upstairs to a blasting quite classic and familiar Mexican phat beat. Theres at least two maroccas in there among the bass.
Ok, time to stop screwing around and go get coffee with Dave. Then it's time to work on my cash flow spreadsheet for the bank. Assholes.

(Lynn, no picking on me for swearing, this is an unofficial publisher forum so conversational expressions are how I'm going to justify it. As opposed to proof reading my own words. Or run on sentences. I try not to comma splice but I end up using ';' way too much instead.
Other than that anytime you feel like sharing
your uniquely sobering semantic, grammatical and editorial perspective of writer's voice/content is always a great opportunity for me to learn and improve. Creative criticisms, YESSSSSSS.)

Dutch said...

Retreat Hell (modified)
Eli/Mike V. 39:47

Mike V.

PS. Samy-Enjoyed the rant above. Get some sleep!

thammond18 said...

Samy does exist! I was starting to think memories involving him were nothing more than glorious figments of my imagination similar to those of Santa Claus. A strange, creepy, pain and fear inducing Santa Claus, but Santa nonetheless.

Mike M said...

Retreat Hell Solo Assault from Hell:
40lb slamball/burly/40kg KB/205# hold/decline pushups

Timed out how long it took me to complete movements then did the hold after, only broke up row/BW hold

Alison said...

Game on! I know this is a true tale because Joel has abanoned burpees and I could not stop laughing when reading your morning ritual. Samy, your ears must have been burning as Davidian and I were talking about your beard this morning...

Michelle said...

Retreat Hells...as usual on partner days I had to "cop" out early so that I wouldn't be late to work.like I was yesterday...so I did (w Ramel)

50 partner slamballs w 20# slamball
50 partner wallballs over the bar 20#
50 kcal row...holding 140# first then row
END (had to leave)
Time of the completed workout 28:48

And I owe Mint 10 burpees for forgetting to sign my name on the clipboard!

Lastly, I quite enjoyed the synopsis of ur day Samy!

Peter said...

Retreat Hell with Jeff B.

Samy, puts our day in prespective. I think you scared a few off today, as it was a quite quiet quotient ce soir.

Tommy - figment of your
imagination? I don't think anyone's imagination is that warped!

Kim said...

Retreat Hell - solo version:
50 slamballs
25 wall balls
30 sec pullup hold
25 wall balls
25 KB swings
30 sec L sit hold
25 KB swings
50kcal row
1 minute holding the KB thingy
50 ring pushups